*pop* *pop, pop*
i recognize this sound immediately from last night's adventures. the drunken jocks have mediocre fireworks again.
so i grab the last bottle rocket in my room, open my window and light it. well that didnt exactly work. i let go of it wrong, and it landed in my back yard.
so i put the clothes back on, and traipse back out to my car where my explosives are now stockpiled. i collect all forms of miniature bottle-rocketry i have, and take the walk to their neighborhood. i hide closer to their house than before and line up all my bottle rockets. i set off 3 aimed in their direction. the girl screams, but the boys take a new route.
they decide to RETURN FIRE! well fuck that. back up int he pine tree i go taking the bottle rockets with me, and setting them off into their back yard. to which they again return fire. im out of small bottle rockets.
very excitedly return to my car trying to remember what i have that will win this for me, without putting them in real physical danger. and then i found it. THE CUBE!!
allow me to explain the cube. it is...a cube. one fuse, 25 missiles. missiles that scream, land, and then explode loudly. This will win.
i go back, they are still returning fire to their invisible enemy. i take my time, finding a tree right behind their house. i lay a crumpled cigarette pack in the crotch of the tree, so as to properly angle the 25 missiles directly at the house. Light. Run.
25 fucking screeching, exploding missiles were launched into their back yard.
buffoons:0
useless:25
Fuck you mother fucker. I win.
1 comment:
Sometimes I absolutely ADORE you.
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