A Nation of Inside Kids.

Yuppie Douche parents are busy raising a nation of kids who are too "sensitive" and lacking in common sense to be allowed to live.

Playing with Danger, Germy playgrounds
'Not it!' More schools ban games at recess
School Bans Hugging
Principal Bans "anti-american" material
Dodge Ball Banning
Kids who never learned how to cross a street without holding someones hand.

Goddammit. Look both ways before you cross. Play Tag and Dodgeball its a neccesity. Eat Fecal Coliform, build up that immune system!
and finally, an Inside Kid being told he has to stop playing world of warcraft and go to bed. and he crys about it. like an inside kid:

the end of that is the best, where the other kids on his team or whatever, are laughing at him, and his dad comes in and pulls him away from the computer.

and then! theres the "alternative education experience" aka: Fuck-up high school.
such as:
The Turning Winds School test to see if your teenager is troubled.
Im just gonna list a few of the question that really bother me:
"Does your troubled teen have weekly outbursts or mood swings?"
oh, so...like a teenager then? go clean the gutters.
"Does your teen argue with adults and authority figures?"
old man voice:those boys are gonna be trouble
"Does your teen do dangerous things without considering the consequences, 'a daredevil?'"
look motherfucka' gettting incredibly hurt builds character.
"Is your teen extremely self-conscious?"
aww, too self conscious to go to real school."kids might make fun of me..."


ok my rant is done. mow the grass, climb a tree, roll down the driveway inside a trashcan, and build a fort made entirely of splintery rotten wood and fecal matter.