i hate shia lebouf

My pants.
My knife.
My random black hat.
My baggy shirt.
My face.


fuck Shia. he's a me thief.

when i grow up...

if i had the patience to grow hair, and money, and fashion....
i think i'd want to be Noel Fielding when i grow up...

i am just a string of embarassments.....

me to new pretty girl at work: so you're new right?
girl: yea, like a month...
me:i also work here!
girl: do ya now?
me:yea, in the meat department.
girl: how's that working out for ya.
me:.......it's...meaty?
girl:....fascinating.


on my second try, in which i walk up to the register with the exact same items an hour later:
girl:....deja vu.
me: I SWEAR IM NOT RETARDED!
me: (pay for things and walk away punching myself in the dick.)