y'all are brutalizin Useless

I thought that my home was my castle
With no one scrutinizing me
No pigs, no lyin' bitch, no hassle
Y'all are brutalizing' me
Can't a man not drink his beer in silence?
Can't a man not crudely lie and scream?
Can't a man not control his bitch with violence?
Y'all are brutalizing meeeeeeeee

Useless make FIRE!

our first project. a mini bottle of vodka, emptied into my belly. then refilled with crushed sparklers. with a sparkler as a fuse. then wrapped in alot of tape.



project two. recreating the 'Nam




this last one is old. circa 2004. useless and evan are in 10th grade. tommo is in 12th.
i stupidly left the video in my dads camera, and he found it.
we were all grounded. evan still has trouble with that leg. tom no longer has that car. the only person i was allowed to see for like...3 months was stephi.

bagacats style

hey, hey hey you! hey FUCK YOOOUUUU!!!

although present Useless makes fun of past Useless, this time present Useless is mildly proud of past Useless. past Useless was fairly certain future Useless was gonna hate him for this. I've gotta tell future James about this.

i've noticed this for years

in almost every episode of the simpsons, they've cut certain lines out. and the only way to know is to enable "closed captioning" on your tv. do it sometime. its fancy.

favorite music lyrics.(this will be constantly updated.)

"so now i keep a close eye on my pets. cause they make most of they moves off of instinct and sex"- Atmosphere

"i used to be such a burning example, i used to be so original, i used to care, i was being cared for made sure ishowed it to those that i loved."-Brand New

"i find that thing i need and then begin. inspired by a love that never ends. i'm so glad that she is my best... friend."-7 seconds

"I won't apologize,For acting outta line.You see the way I am,You leave any time you can cause...I'm crazy and I'm hurt.Head on my shoulders.Going... Berserk!I don't care what you fuckin' do!I don't care what you fuckin' say!"-Black Flag

"Shop in all the high class stores, all you are is high class whores, Georgetown's where you spend your time, think you're cool but you're just slime"-Government Issue

"Flex your head in other words use it. you'll wind up dead if you try to abuse it"-Government Issue

The Cube-Of-Missles Crisis

i get home, about 2:15am. the morning after fourth of july. i sit down and im about to go to bed.
*pop* *pop, pop*
i recognize this sound immediately from last night's adventures. the drunken jocks have mediocre fireworks again.
so i grab the last bottle rocket in my room, open my window and light it. well that didnt exactly work. i let go of it wrong, and it landed in my back yard.
so i put the clothes back on, and traipse back out to my car where my explosives are now stockpiled. i collect all forms of miniature bottle-rocketry i have, and take the walk to their neighborhood. i hide closer to their house than before and line up all my bottle rockets. i set off 3 aimed in their direction. the girl screams, but the boys take a new route.
they decide to RETURN FIRE! well fuck that. back up int he pine tree i go taking the bottle rockets with me, and setting them off into their back yard. to which they again return fire. im out of small bottle rockets.
very excitedly return to my car trying to remember what i have that will win this for me, without putting them in real physical danger. and then i found it. THE CUBE!!
allow me to explain the cube. it is...a cube. one fuse, 25 missiles. missiles that scream, land, and then explode loudly. This will win.

i go back, they are still returning fire to their invisible enemy. i take my time, finding a tree right behind their house. i lay a crumpled cigarette pack in the crotch of the tree, so as to properly angle the 25 missiles directly at the house. Light. Run.
25 fucking screeching, exploding missiles were launched into their back yard.

buffoons:0
useless:25
Fuck you mother fucker. I win.

now look what you made me do...

i laid down in bed, turned everything off, i was all curled up, and suddenly someone was setting off firecrackers. at like 2 in the morning! it wasn't the next door neighbors and their little shindig, but it was loud enough to be REALLY annoying. because there isn't anyone in my house who hasn't had a long day today.
so i got back up, threw on my clothes, grabbed a handful of bottle rockets and went for a walk.
i found the house with the party and climbed a large sloping pine tree about 70 feet away. from there i could see the terminal whores and shaved head jocks having their drunken annoyance in their back yard.
obviously, i had to hide in the tree and shoot bottle rockets at them. of course the girls screamed, and the dudes came stomping out to see who was committing this attack on their freedom to be assholes. but they couldn't see, cause its fucking dark, and I'm 12 feet up in a fucking tree. to this i responded with more bottle rockets. mother fuckers went back in their house, and there have been no more firecrackers.
never fuck with me when I'm tired.

new old pictures

more new pictures can be found in my album:

The Wreck of Effin Useless

more will be coming once my sister brings me the files from my old computer.

Kaspersky

thanks to Kaspersky Anti-Virus, my computer is evil free.
now, to find that video of that girl with the snake!