Just Saw a Preview

for "How To Be". the movie that Robert Pattinson was in before Twilight.




wish i could get paid fucking millions to look constantly nauseated.

i love her crazy ass.

watch it!

OMFG gifs....and best video ever.

Gifs may not work, just imagine what they do....

The more times you watch the Twilight Rifftrax video, the harder you laugh, until you find yourself crying uncontrollably from awesome.

.....like Pete Rose.

now for something completely different....

Ever seen a muslim albino rapping at the state fair?
enjoy
Brother Ali- "Tight Rope"

Best Kanye Response yet.

I've watched this about 10 times now and it still makes me laugh.



n

Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz

He faked his death in France, and moved to Salt Lake City, UT in the 80's.

Why Inglorious Basterds is perfect.

....cause it makes them angry...

9 - Timur Bekmambetov, Tim Burton

This is gonna be awesome. Better than Nightmare Before Christmas awesome.

Ballad of G.I. Joe

this may be old news, but fuck you, it's rad. Henry Rollins, Zack Galifinakais, Olivia Wilde. too awesome

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

Dogfish Head- Red & White

I expected a gross frambiose Lambic.What I got was a distinct creamy Belgian yeast flavor, balanced with a mild hops and yes, some fruit: flavors of apple and orange.


actually what i got wasdrunk. thank god for this huge bottle of amazing. this beerage is best enjoyed on the Outside Couch, with Mr. Marlin .22 cal. and an opossum with too much confidence. He Got his gross dry tail pulled on.


BAHAHAHA

also,

I'd hit it.... a million times.

i want a girl that can kick my asss......

why go home? MPLS P.O.S

ever seen a rapper from minneapolis cover Pearl Jam?
here ya go. P.O.S.- Why Go? (live)

P.O.S. - New Music - More Music Videos

the jokes(and conspiracies) just sorta make themselves...

NEWARK (Reuters) - Dozens of New Jersey politicians, officials and prominent rabbis were arrested on Thursday in a sweeping federal probe that uncovered political corruption, human organ sales and money laundering from New York to Israel, officials said.

you ever notice

sometimes an episode of "King of the Hill" seems to have been made by substitute cartoon people?
the voices are all wrong. the drawing is bad. the jokes are lame.

it all comes off like a weird pakistani remake of King Of the Hill.


....why is this happening?


oh, apparently this is the pilot.....

so...who saw this fucking awfulness and thought, "Yup! comedy gold!"
someone involved with bevis and butthead no-doubt.

Purexed

one of my favorite songs of '09 now has a video:
P.o.s- Purexed

big bird

Every time I see a Pileated Woodpecker, my first thought is, "I live too damn close to a nuclear power plant."

Naboo the Enigma:

Mystic of Croydon

WWMJD?

what are the chances?

that two co-workers die in one day?

damn that's eerie.

does anyone in this family know what a chicken sounds like?

i hate shia lebouf

My pants.
My knife.
My random black hat.
My baggy shirt.
My face.


fuck Shia. he's a me thief.

when i grow up...

if i had the patience to grow hair, and money, and fashion....
i think i'd want to be Noel Fielding when i grow up...

i am just a string of embarassments.....

me to new pretty girl at work: so you're new right?
girl: yea, like a month...
me:i also work here!
girl: do ya now?
me:yea, in the meat department.
girl: how's that working out for ya.
me:.......it's...meaty?
girl:....fascinating.


on my second try, in which i walk up to the register with the exact same items an hour later:
girl:....deja vu.
me: I SWEAR IM NOT RETARDED!
me: (pay for things and walk away punching myself in the dick.)

my goal in life

is to kill josh peck. so that i can become him....
killing/possesing Josh Peck would allow me to sully both Hillary Duff and Olivia Thirlby with one single glorious ribbon of homemade jolly-jam.
Let me explain how with this handy illustration:

There is an upside to this pig plague pandemic....[NSFW]

Girls wearing gasmasks!

I Still Love Lil Wayne....

New fun:
"Prom Queen"- Lil Wayne Feat. Korn

New Tattoo Maybe?

Certainly Awesome.

possibly horrible.

HAHAHHAHA

McPoyle brother plays a kid-touching priest who doesn't believe in god on House.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/59164/house-unfaithful#s-p1-so-i0

Season 5 Ep 15.

Heh, teach you to fail me motherfucker!

So my Asshole Biology Teacher/wrestling coach, Mr. Kistler, from 9th grade came into my work the other day, and ran up and asked, "Hey! Do you know where the Marshmallows are!?"
Me:" ....Nope!"
Mr. Kistler:"oh...ok..."

He hustles by later with a jar of marshmallow fluff, and announces "It's by the peanut butter, thanks anyway!"


So even if I told him where the marshmallows were, he wouldn't have found them, cause he was looking for marshmallow fluff. In some way, this explains why I hate that guy.....

fucker.

Russel Bra- .....Chaplin.

Overheard By Me.....

At McDonalds in Solomons.

Old crazy junky Lady, one step away from crazy homeless person...

Lady: yea, you got 'dem 20 nuggets?
Mcdonalds employee girl: yes. we do.
Lady: Yea, i just wan' 4 of 'em.
Employee: a 4pc. Mcnugget meal m'am?
Lady: No! 4 of dem 20 nuggets!
Employee: you want...80 nuggets m'am?
Lady: No!.....yes!?
Employee: Ok, thats...80 nuggets. Will that be all? (yes) that'll be $21.54(or whatever it was)
Lady:[ Pays in 1's 5's and change. then stands in everyone's way for a minute.]
Lady:(announcing to noone in particular) and I wan' 6!
Another Employee: 6 more nuggets m'am?
Lady: Yes.
employee: ok, that'll be $x.xx
Lady:yea. no i wan' 6 hambugers! I don' wan' no nuggets!
Employee: you DO still want the 80 nuggets we just cooked right?
Lady: YES! I said I wan' 'em! And a Soda!
Employee: And the hamburgers?
Lady: NO!




Today, this lady comes into MY work. And grabs 5 family packs of Boneless Chicken Breasts. (about 25-30 Chicken Breasts)
Then, asks us to cut them up in little pieces, so she can fry them, to make nuggets.

After the cutter does all this, and wraps them all back up and I price them....
She puts all but two packs back on the shelf. and leaves....

we have to throw those away.


I love that crazy woman.

WTF 50 w/ Moony Bradshaw.

New P.O.S Video. Optimist(we are not for them)

OK, Seriously, if you haven't listened to P.O.S yet, take a couple minutes and watch this, and listen. If you dont hate it, listen to some more. Buy some CD's and shirts.



POS' latest video "Optimist" was added to MTV2, MTV Jams & MTVu today! You can check out the video @: mtvu. com/video/?id=&vid=346640 or just check it out below!

Director & Editor: Maria Juranic
Producer: Brady Kiernan
Director of Photography: Bo Hakala
Production Company: Rent the Sky


Doomtree Got whips...heh.
Doomtree Crew is:
Pissed Off Steph (P.O.S., fresh, never settle for less)
Mike Mictlan (ridin' in the lo-lo watchin po-pos takin pictures of tattoos on cholos)
Lazerbeak (a fuckin genius period.)
Sims (white and Angry)
Dessa(beautiful. im not a writer i just drink alot about it)
Paper Tiger
Cecil Otter
Marshal Larada
Turbo Nemesis( soon-to-be-arthritic villan)

what do you do? exactly.

My day to day:

• I wake up, usually around 5am unless I'm off that day.


• Make coffee or tea or hot chocolate. More tea lately, because I only have an espresso machine, and cant afford espresso beans. And it's kinda gross.


• Walk up the driveway and get the paper.


• Skim over the news, check the weather forecast, comics, and hockey or soccer.


• On Mondays I do the Sudoku because it's easy. I usually make a half-assed attempt at the Crossword.

I go to work either 6-2ish or 2ish-8.
Usually stop by Dunkin Donuts or Fastop and get a coffee and gas.
I work in the Meat Department at Giant. Im a "Meat Wrapper" which means I do everything but actually Cut meat.
so:

• Make coffee for everyone


• Weigh, wrap, price, and stock meat.


• Break down pallets


• stock processed meats


• Clean the cases


• Clean the cutting tables, floor, and bandsaw


• Assorted other junk.

I get home and wake Stephi up.
Watch Tv, a Movie or play Xbox
Make and eat dinner. Usually something ground beef based.
read a book or watch movies.
do dishes.
Stephi goes to work.
Check my email, watch movies or play Fallout 3.
Watch something non-thinking on TV. usually Hockey, Poker, Soccer, or Adult swim
Fiddle with the internet.
Set the next morning's alarms, turn everything off except some music, and go to bed.



New Stuff:
Samsung Alias phone w/ VZ Navigator
Comcast Highspeed internet
A refrigerator that says, "Thug means never having to say you're sorry"
Stephi got a new huge cage for the two rats, Weetzie Rat and Echo

Tada!
a much better response to "what've you been doing lately?" than "eh..nothing really"


Edit:
"Stephi Garner: lol he makes it sound like I don't ever do anything...geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze. :P"

Stephi does stuff. Mostly the same stuff i do.

So what're you doing lately?

I moved to Saint Leonard, MD.
I work in the meat department at Giant.
I'm happy.
So, to anyone I left out of the loop, sorry, nothing personal. Blogging is easier than attempting to explain myself.
and now...
Pictures!!!

OPTIMIST (we are not for them)

New P.O.S album, Never Better, is out.
Go get it.
Now.
Then get tickets to see him at the Rock N Roll Hotel.

Then do that.

www.myspace.com/pos
Doomtree.net
Fifthelementonline.com
Go.

Home

I Haz one.